Divorce rates and statistics seem to rise every year. In many divorce cases, children are caught in between the two parents. Though the adults were not able to maintain a healthy relationship with one another, the children should maintain healthy relationships with both parents. Some ways to help the children involved in divorce cases are outlined below.
The first thing to remember is to avoid conflict, heated discussion, and legal jargon when around the children. They are already aware of a disruption in their normal day-to-day, and it is important to not cause further confusion or concern by acting out in front of them.
It is important to keep their daily routines as normal as possible. Children are used to things happening in particular sequences during their day. For instance, they eat breakfast before heading off to school. Any disruption to their normal routine will cause unwanted stress where it is not necessary.
Negativity and blame between spouses should occur in therapy sessions or with friends outside of the home. Children do not need to know all of the gory details about their parent’s separation. The only thing necessary for them to know is that they are loved by each parent, and each parent should support the other in conversations with the child. This will keep the child from feeling like he or she is supposed to dislike one of their parents.
Finally, it is important for each parent to remain an important piece of the child’s life. If you have gone to every basketball game your child has played, continue going. If you pick little Suzie up for dance every Tuesday, then continue picking her up for dance. Do not change your involvement with your child because you and your spouse no longer see eye-to-eye.
Every divorce effects the children involved differently. Some are not able to deal with the disruption in their family, and others come through the situation better able to cope with stress when it’s all said and done. It is important as parents to help the children understand and come out stronger rather than cause sadness and disdain.