Conflict. Many hate conflict, but none can avoid it. It is more often than not that conflict erupts into a big problem when the situation is not handled properly. Hurtful words that sting and leave permanent impacts are said, feelings are hurt, and tears are shed in some extreme cases. The good news is that there are various tips to resolving conflict in a way that does not break down relationships.
One of the most important pieces to resolving conflict is to focus on the problem, not the person. Whether the relationship is one of friendship or romance, a relationship does, in fact, exist, and it is important to let the loved one know that it is not them but their action that has inflicted negative feelings. A way to do this verbally when describing feelings is to use this formula: When you do A, I feel B. This formula makes clear that an action performed by the person, but not the person themselves, caused hurt feelings.
Another good means of resolving conflict is to listen. In some cases you will be the one who has caused pain for a loved one, and you should have the patience with them that you expect when you are the one with hurt feelings. Hear them out fully before speaking and answer in a calm tone. Ask questions if you need a better understanding of their feelings in order to correct the wrong and think your response out before giving it. Conflict resolution should bring friends and loved ones together, not push them farther apart.
Respect for the other person and their point of view is the only way to resolve conflict peacefully and to reach a place of forgiveness from both parties involved. Having an open heart and mind to hear and understand the other person will go a long way in building the relationship up, even through conflict. Reminders of love and admiration for the other during times of conflict will show them the deep feelings and respect that you feel for them and ease the tension associated with an often awkward situation.
Conflict is scary but is easy to manage if both parties enter into conflict resolution with mutual feelings of love and respect for one another, open hearts and minds, and listening ears. Conflict is not so intimidating when emotions don’t take over and cause unkind words. Self control and composure is key to resolving the problem.